There’s Danger in Looking Back…
Would you believe me if I told you…
That you always carry your version of the past with you?
And that the version contains in it emotions and beliefs that keep you stuck and limited today? (and tomorrow!)
A passionate believer in the power of “jump starts”, Marianne helps clients obliterate self-doubts, blast through limiting beliefs, and gain clarity to discover their passion and drive.
Like your shadow, the baggage of your past goes everywhere with you.
It darkens (or brightens!) the present, and your view of the future.
You are invited to a party, and you love hanging with this group of friends. Normally you are excited at the thought of going.
However… last time you all got together one of your friends brought along someone new. Someone they love to be with. Someone you’d rather not see again….
What are you thinking as you get ready for the party….
Are you excited about the party?
Are you fearful your friend will bring this other person along?
Have you lost some of the excitement and enthusiasm for these parties now?
If you’re like most people, chances are, you are worried about who else may be coming to the party.
In your mind, this party, a source of fun, something you always knew you could look forward to, is now vulnerable. It’s vulnerable to changing into something you won’t enjoy nearly as much. It’s vulnerable, even, to being something you don’t enjoy at all.
In addition, even if you go to the party and it’s just your friends there, it’s possible that you’ll still feel a tinge of fear. Fear that this could all change. This fear hangs, like a dark cloud, just behind the fun. You may leave the party and not quite understand just why, this time, the party wasn’t as much fun. You won’t be able to put your finger on what changed it. You can’t see that subconscious fear coloring over your life. Changing things from fun to not so much fun.
It happens all the time.
And worst of all… it happens with everything negative in your life. It’s no wonder that by the time we reach middle age we’ve lost that joy of living. We’ve lost that excitement about the future. We’ve become afraid to try new things.
As the warning says:
“Objects in mirror are closer than they appear”
SO what do you do?
The key is to revise the past.
While you can’t change that your friend brought someone new to the party, or you were laid off, of in an accident, or even abused. Those cold hard facts will remain.
What you CAN do, is change the emotions you carry along with those memories, for it’s the emotions that create trouble now.
How? Relive the party, in your mind, and simply focus ONLY on the fun time you had with friends. Make the memory of the party full of that, with no trace of the other person interacting with you. (Don’t try to force them out of the party in your mind, just make them unimportant to YOUR time there)
Do this until your memory of the party is pure fun!
Then watch how your excitement for the “next” party returns…..
Revision isn’t always the easiest thing to do, and sometimes you need a little help and guidance.
For example, when you were a child, you may have had an adult in your life who was abusive in some way. You know that they were just like their parents, or that they didn’t have the skill set to treat you better, or an addiction was causing their behaviour. You know this. You understand this. Yet you can’t get past what they did to you. You are upset because they chose to live what they knew instead of finding another way.
Sometimes you need a little technique (like FasterEFT) to help you get past knowing and into feeling the truth.
Maybe you DON’T WANT to forgive and forget. I suggest, however, that you do. If you don’t – it’s yourself that you’re punishing. Not them. You’re reliving it (even subconsciously) in your interactions with the world, in your fear of the future, in limiting yourself because of your past.
“Revise the memories that bring you pain, and you will release the emotional baggage you carry.”
If you don’t you’ll be treating every new person who comes to the party with fear, reservation and pre-judgement. You’ll be afraid they’ll be awful too.
You’ll judge other areas of your life by the emotions and memories that you keep stored in your “past”.
You’ll end up missing out on a LOT my friend.
NOTE: A great source to learn about revision is at www.freeneville.com
I truly love sharing what I learn with you. Watching someone have an "a-ha" moment is one of the best things in life for me.
Because I am a consummate "student" - when I find something new and interesting, I really dig deep. I study hard and then I use what I've learned to help others. (Yeah, I have gathered together quite a toolbox!)
I truly do believe in the power of "Jump Starts" and the ability everyone has to "get un-stuck." If I can do it, anyone can!
You can connect with me by email at startnewyearright (at) gmail.com and visit my personal website is: www.mariannestrait.com
I believe that every human is unique and valuable,
even if they aren't able to recognize it themselves.
I believe each and every one has the power to create a great life
once they recognize -and accept- their value.
Even as a child I've been able to help people change the way they see themselves - helping them move from a "victim" to an "owner" mindset. I help them to gain self-confidence and recognize their strengths. I've discovered that it's only when you do that, can you "get un-stuck" and "Jump Start" your life.
What drives me is helping others to succeed, to be a support system while they are taking steps toward their dream, and to watch them celebrate their victories.
The Biggest Lesson I've learned is the power of your mind. It truly does create and destroy.
It was quite a shock when I realized the power that my mindset played in every part of my life - good and bad. Discovery wasn't enough though, it still took me decades to harness this power, learn to control it, and develop a system to help others master this in a fraction of the time it took me.
Taking responsibility - even for how others treated me - was one of the hardest adjustments I had to make. To move from Victim to Owner mindset was not only difficult, it was, at times, scary.
It is a move that I am thrilled to have taken. It changed my life and it can change yours.